JL | Lt. Evan Merlin & Xue' Daio Nox | "the Camel's Back"

Posted on Thu May 10th, 2018 @ 3:14pm by Xue'Daio Nox Tr'Verelan & Commander Evan Merlin
Edited on on Thu May 10th, 2018 @ 3:15pm

Mission: Lacuna

Moments later the Lieutenant appeared in the suites of Empress Xue' Daio. This was official business, so he took the official route. A few murmured words, one of her retinue walked off, to return a short while later. "You can enter," he said. The Lieutenant thanked him and entered the by now so familiar rooms.

"My apologies for the interrupton, and beforehand for my bluntness," he began. "Lieutenant Commander Stacker has left less than two minutes ago on a ship called the Campbeltown , to an undisclosed location." He pulled a PADD out of a pocket and held it out.

The albino held up a petal soft hand to decline the transfer of the PADD and shook her head gently, "Then I wish him, and the rest of his team, success." She responded, turning away from the starlit window. It had long since turned away from the brightness of the nebula, turning the room from day to night and allowing her a chance at relative quiet and solitude. The glow of her shivered, though, as if she were considering the depth of the task Stacker had been sent out on - not just by her, but by those he sought to protect and retrieve... And the weight of the ramifications of his failure, should that come to pass.

"I've resigned myself to the fact that they may not return alive, that we'll be burying them." She admitted, allowing the bright rose of her eyes to fall upon him in the dark. The stars illuminated very little, but she could still make out Evan's shape, the curve of his mouth, and the shine of his eyes. They were all comforts to her, "Then I remind myself that I cannot have involvement in the burial of Valeese. As much as I value her, she cannot have her cover blown... Not even in death. She'd be dishonored by the Federation and after everything she's done to try and find a home and place within your society, I cannot allow her to be tarnished."

"And once again, the price of a public figure. Not being able to mourn in public for a person you care for, because officially you haven't met." The Lieutenant placed the PADD on a small table next to the Empress as he spoke. He had promised some time ago to keep her fully appraised of the Federation's efforts to retrieve the missing officers. Short of ripping the information about the mission's destination out of Stacker's mind by whichever means available (which would, aside from all the moral objections, constitute breaking more than one law), he had kept his promise. "It's out of our hands now. All we can do is wait, and have faith in the competence of the team." He absentmindedly flicked an errant curl of hair back. It had begun to escape its bonds once again, as if it recognised the lack of control in this situation.

She nodded gently, agreeing with this statement - all of them - without words. There was so little she could contribute to such sound philosophy that wouldn't otherwise mar or ruin it. Words wanted to fail her, they wanted to hide beneath a tongue that wished to turn to stone, but she knew that dismissing him wasn't an option. He tried for her, not because he had to but because he wanted to please her and ease her troubled mind. Pressing her lips together, the starlight shivered as she moved further from that window. "The Andorian..." Xue began, forcing her mouth to work, "He's with them?"

The Lieutenant nodded. "He is." It was an odd feeling, that loss of control. Both of them – Empress and Starfleet Lieutenant – had done what they could, had given what information they had. And now that one critical mission was on its way, and there was nothing else either of them could do but wait. The full power of Starfleet and the Stenellian Ascendancy would be nothing if that single mission failed. Then revenge would be all that remained, a cold, miserable affair. His mouth twisted. "I have great confidence in them all."

Diplomacy indeed. He trusted Stacker, at least insofar as anyone could trust a member of an organisation which absorbed all but gave little in return. He didn't know the Andorian well, but had confidence in the man's quiet competence and determination. Archer, on the other hand, he was less certain about. But he had the trust of Commodore Rochelle and served as 2XO on the USS Vindicator and incompetence would not be tolerated at that level.

"Then all we can do is hope that they are successful and be pleased with whatever results they return with." Hope for the best, prepare for the worst. A timeless song and dance reserved for critical situations when life and tragedy were on the line. Losing them was the last thing Xue wanted to face. The loss of her family would injure the Ascendancy and their relations with the Federation - but it would break the kind hearted Andorian that loved Si'a and the child she carried. That loss would be a surefire disaster and a catalyst for so many painful things. Part of her doubted that Anaxar Shran would be able to survive that degree of emotional strife, his heart was liable to simply break both philosophically and physically. Her eyes closed briefly, wishing such thoughts away only to be greeted with the fact that so few would mourn Valeese.

Xue didn't know which hurt worse; the widespread mourning and heartbreak caused by the death of Si'a Dai'xun or the emptiness and nonchalance generated by the death of Valeese.

"Evan..." She whispered in the dark, his given name tasted so foreign but beautiful, "Should the worse come to pass... Promise me that Valeese will not go alone." Such hollow words, painted with sadness and pain, "She deserves to be remembered."

"She has friends on this station and beyond. She will be remembered." Maybe not with a public ceremony, such as would no doubt be organised for the young Stenellis should the worst come to pass, but Stacker would grieve, and Rush would mourn for the loss of a friend, and many of the Medical staff would miss a valued collegue. And unless he was mistaken, there was an Admiral out there who would also miss a kindred spirit. "If that situation should arise, there'll be a private ceremony for her here, on the station. And if someone attends who doesn't want to be recognised, well, that's one of the things they invented holo-emitters for."

This made the albino Empress scowl and her hand cut through the empty air in a flurry of silvery winter light as if to banish such thoughts, "They should be ashamed." She all but spat, her eyes reopening. In the dimness the additional cones that made her vision so sharp seemed to glow as embers as they caught and transferred whatever light could be mustered - an unintentional flash of energy that only seemed to help punctuate her sentiments. "The Federation with all of their bravado is still archaic and trifling with the human notions of racism and hate. It's ridiculous. All of their energy focused on the wrong aspects of a person who now hates the very genetics that make them Vorta or Romulan or Cardassian. It's as ridiculous as the caste system instilled back on Apsha for centuries, and you know what I did with it?" She asked, hardly aware that her tone was becoming as elevated as her blood pressure and heart rate - but avidly and acutely aware that her stomach was churning and threatening to rebel against her, "I ended it! Thousands of years of misappropriated lives based on class of fortune and I ended it for sake of education and equality and yet I come here and I see straight stupidity and such rancor passed against a good soul because they happen to be a Vorta?! Your Federation has a lot to learn. They have some nerve trying to assimilate more cultures and races into their folds when they have such distaste and intolerance afoot."

"Ah, lady…" Merlin sighed. He knew where this reaction came from. Frustration and anger and worry and grief needed an outlet and had found one. Thousands of years of living within a caste system might have been officially abolished and weeded out with good education, but Merlin had seen in other places just how deep those roots could dig. That, however, was not a discussion for this moment. Nor would telling Xue that by lumping all of the Federation together and ascribing to all the actions of a few, she was in fact doing the same thing she was accusing the Federation of. Her words were fueled by emotions, and he knew they would be tempered with reason at a more oppurtune moment. But it was true that there were more than a few people who had trouble letting go of the past, and who saw Valeese as the sole representative of a race which had been one of the symbols of the Dominion Wars.

"People, by and large, are not rational. I know of one of our officers on the station, a valued member of our team, who has suffered great personal trauma during the last Dominion War. Rationally he knows Valeese had nothing to do with it, she hasn't wielded the weapon which resulted in his injuries. But every time he sees her, it brings all those traumas back to his mind. He hates what she represents, but he swallows it and works with her, since we are all part of the Federation, part of Starfleet, part of the crew of Cold Station Theta. And that's where it needs to begin. He will never love her, and he doesn't have to. But he remains professional and civil and deals with his own issues in private instead of taking them up with her. People can learn. And one generation from now, or two, or three, maybe when the last people who have direct memories of those wars have passed, who knows? Nothing last forever, but things do take time…"

He blew the loose curl away and smiled. "Incidentily, the holo-emitter idea was so that you'd have a chance to attend such a ceremony without being recognised, should that need arise. But for now, I choose not to believe it will be necessary." He held out his hand, empty this time. No PADDs, no demands.

And she crumbled.

It felt as if she'd been kicked in the gut, and her breath left her in a hasty puff as the compound sensation of all of emotions hit her squarely... And she hated it. All of it. That sensation of being completely and utterly helpless and out of control. The glow diminished, extinguishing near completely and that sick feeling rose again unbidden. Any second and she was going to do more than just pant and rest her hands against the nearest piece of furniture. Any second she'd do more than fight the burning, stinging, prickles of hot, angry tears as they welled in those strange hued eyes. Worst of all, all of it happened with an audience. That pain came out in a choked, strangled little whimper, "All of it..." Xue managed, "Is unfair. I want them home, Evan... I want them home." There was nothing to be done save admit defeat when the first tear rolled along the contour of her cheek and she, capitulating, wiped it away.

The Lieutenant gathered her in his arms, held her as those pent-up emotions fought their way out. "We'll get them home," he said quietly. One way or the other, Si'a and would get home. With people like Stacker and Shran on that mission, there was no other outcome. They would get home.

---

Lieutenant Evan Merlin
Executive Officer
COLD STATION THETA, SB-1170

&

Empress Xue'Daio Nox
Queen of Apsha
Ruler of Aleine
Stenellian Ascendancy