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Apprehension & Opportunity

Posted on Sun Aug 23rd, 2020 @ 8:47pm by Ambassador Kyrza Jadoss

Mission: When The Circus Comes To Town
Location: Enroute to Cold Station Theta

Computer, begin recording. Personal Log.

I am more nervous and anxious that I thought I would be. The closer we get to the station, the more this feeling grows. I did not expect to feel this way, although I admit, I did not expect this assignment at all. I have looked forward to being head of mission for some time, but this feels like a most unusual way of going about it. Working within the Federation instead of outside... I don't know if this will make it easier, or harder. It's odd, to say the least.

I have begun reading and researching, and at least the preparation feels normal. It helps to calm the emotions. A familiar routine, I suppose. What I've read so far does not point to anything abrupt or unusual, which is helpful. It feels quite standard, and certainly not as sticky as some other political situations around the quadrant, much less the galaxy. The array of governments that have set up a mission on Cold Station Theta seems a bit unusual, perhaps, but it is quite a large station with a rather wide variety of species living and passing through. Perhaps it is that concentration of diplomatic missions that cause them to request this odd arrangement.

Perhaps I'm nervous because I will be working alone. That is maybe more unusual for me than functioning inside the Federation. I know there are plenty of very small missions scattered across the galaxy, and that includes teams of one. But I have never worked with small teams like this, not long term, and certainly not entirely by myself. Not only will I be the one making final decisions, I shall have to do so without supporting personnel. I imagine they'll send some aides, at least, eventually, but in the short term, I will have to be the one.

I have read that positions of leadership can weigh heavy on one's shoulders. I don't feel that, at least, not yet. I'm nervous. I'm excited. I'm anxious. I am not sure if I can be *the one*. But I also know that I'm not a rookie anymore. I have seen and experienced enough to be confident. I've been in tough negotiations, delicate meetings and introductions. I know I can do those things. But... to be in charge, to represent the Federation onboard the station, and to do so entirely alone.... I must admit, I'm apprehensive.

It is a wonderful opportunity, and I relish the chance. I really do. But I would be lying if I said I was walking into the situation bursting with confidence. I know, I know, it will come with time and experience, but right now...

Look at me, pacing and rambling like some nervous hatchling. Thank goodness this is a personal log and not a mission report. You are going to be fine. Computer, save and end recording.

Kyrza Jadoss
Chargé d'affaires
Cold Station Theta


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